Eph 5:22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
The first 21 verses of this chapter, Paul speaks of the general rule for both husbands and wives as believers in Christ. From vs 22 he now gives conducts required specifically to husband and wives. Because the theme is that of unity, he addresses things within a marriage that can either unify or break that unity.
Submission is a command to the wives. Submission centers on the word respect. Peter similarly addresses this subject but adds a clause to a wife married to unbeliever, 1Pe 3:1 “Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives.” I find it fascinating that both Peter and Paul begin by addressing the wives. Also note that Peter uses the word “conduct” rather than “gifts”.
A wife does not win the heart of her husband by the gifts she possesses even of that of the spirit. It is by her conduct. Her conducts highlight the gifts not the other way round.
Respect is the main love language of a husband. It conveys a sense of admiration for good or valuable qualities. The obedience a wife pays to her husband is at the same time paid to Christ himself; he being head of the wife, as Christ is head of the church. Paul says this submission towards the husband is as if doing it for the Lord, it includes the honouring and obeying of them, and that from a principle of love to them.
The wife must first respect the office of a husband followed by the husband in that office. We first respect the badge of an office before the man with that badge.